Have You Slept With Tiger Woods?
posted by Jeff C. on Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thus far, none of the women who have come forth (Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs and Kalika Moquin) claiming to have been intimate with Mr. Woods since he's been married to the lovely and delightful Elin Nordegren have agreed to terms with Vivid.
Most likely, that's because, despite the fact that they've all proudly proclaimed that they are giant whores who are more than willing to sleep with a married man and then sell their stories to The National Enquirer, they have their principles. And starring in a porn movie evidently does not fit amongst their strict moral values.
That's why we here at How to Meet Broads Inc. are prepared to make the following offer:
For any woman who can provide valid proof (photos, voicemails, etc.) that she had a sexual encounter with Tiger Woods... We will pay you twenty dollars, in cash, for the opportunity to interview you via email about the sordid details of your affair with Mr. Woods and post the resulting interview here on our site.
That's right... twenty dollars for one brief interview, during which you will not be asked to perform any sexual acts, unlike Vivid Entertainment's salacious offer. Unless, of course, you just really want to perform sexual acts, in which case I'll gladly introduce you to one of my many friends who are less concerned than I about STDs. In addition, we will publish your picture and provide a link to your personal website or the website for the strip club at which you work.
If you have slept with Tiger Woods and are interested in our offer, please contact us here.
UPDATE: A fourth woman has come forward claiming to have slept with Tiger Woods. Her name is Jamie Jungers, and she's a nice-looking blonde from Las Vegas. If any of our readers know Miss Jungers, please inform her that she could be twenty dollars richer if she contacts us. Thank you.