Happy Holidays & Girlwithnoname

Hello, everybody! We here at How to Meet Broads would like to wish you a belated happy holidays and a happy New Year and all of that stuff. We hope that the holidays treated you well, your respective families weren't too annoying and your travels went smoothly. At the very least, we hope that, unlike us, you didn't get stranded in a blizzard in Northern Virginia, one that left you sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-95 for fourteen freakin' hours.

Anyhoo, here's a little story for you: One evening a few weeks back, I was sitting on a plush leather sofa here at How to Meet Broads Manor, watching college basketball in my bathrobe, plowing through a box of red wine and making sarcastic comments, most of them sports- and food-related, on the Twitter. That was how I became acquainted with Girlwithnoname, as she took a few moments to dispute the merits of Meatball 'N Mozzarella-flavored Hot Pockets with yours truly.

As it turns out, the lovely Girlwithnoname is a personal trainer, and she kindly agreed to an interview, which went something like this...

Where are you from?
Vancouver, Canada.

What does your daily fitness routine entail?
Depends on the day. I alternate various weights routines with various cardio every second day. So one day I might do some supersets with my weightstack (I'm not afraid to go heavy like so many women are, the heavier you get, the more "toned" you're gonna look) and then the next day I might go for a long endurance run or run to my favourite hill and crank out some HIIT (high-intensity interval training) in the form of hillsprints. I do something every day, usually with one day off per week.

Of the following randomly-selected celebrities -- Tom Cruise, Mick Jagger, Dr. Phil, Derek Jeter and David Letterman -- who do you think you could beat in an arm wrestling competition?
Dr. Phil. He doesn't look to me like he's in shape at all. While Mick Jagger might be a more obvious answer I bet that cat is tough (and wiry)... that being said though, I don't think I'd REALLY want to wrestle with any of them.... that's a bit too close for comfort... for those dudes anyway.

Physically-speaking, what do you find attractive in a male? Arms? Chest? Abs?
O. M. G. Chest, Arms, Shoulders and Back. Give me a well built man with a great set of shoulders and I'm yours (that being said, I'm not into steroid monkeys, just nicely and naturally built guys that work hard on themselves, as I work hard on myself).

Some of our readers are the healthy-living type. Undoubtedly, many of them probably have crushes on girls at their gym, but are unsure of how to approach them in that sort of environment. Any advice?
ooooo, that's a bone of contention for ME, because I HATE it when some guy approaches me when I'm in the zone and trying to get a good workout in. I'm counting my reps, I'm concentrating on getting the weight up, etc. I'd have to say if there's someone you absolutely gotta meet, approach them during their stretching or get on the treadmill beside them... times when you aren't interrupting their workout. Or better yet, time your departure at the same time as theirs and suggest a post-workout smoothie as you both walk out the door at the same time.

In your opinion, where do most men fail when attempting to meet and/or impress women?
That's an easy one. Cheesy, overconfident or creepy pick up lines will get me traveling in the opposite direction almost every time. Try being real or just saying 'hi' ... its simple really. We want to talk to real guys, not 'players'...

One last question... Better pizza topping: bacon or Italian sausage?
I don't eat pizza very often. You can't hang on to a set of abs when you indulge in that stuff very often, but when I do have a little cheat meal and pizza is on the menu, neither of those is at the top of my toppings list. Pepperoni, howeverrrrrrrr......

Girlwithnoname is a Registered Personal Trainer, lives in the city of Vancouver, BC Canada in the downtown area and is a self-professed fitness junkie. Learn more about her here: Girlwithnoname - Achieving Fitness At Home. And check out her thoughts on abs at Truth about Six Pack Abs.

Have You Slept With Tiger Woods?

This afternoon, Vivid Entertainment, the company that has produced many of America's finest pornographic films, announced that they will pay any of Tiger Woods' alleged mistresses one million dollars to star in a film which captures the essence of their relationship, only with presumably more girl-on-girl action.

Thus far, none of the women who have come forth (Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs and Kalika Moquin) claiming to have been intimate with Mr. Woods since he's been married to the lovely and delightful Elin Nordegren have agreed to terms with Vivid.

Most likely, that's because, despite the fact that they've all proudly proclaimed that they are giant whores who are more than willing to sleep with a married man and then sell their stories to The National Enquirer, they have their principles. And starring in a porn movie evidently does not fit amongst their strict moral values.

That's why we here at How to Meet Broads Inc. are prepared to make the following offer:

For any woman who can provide valid proof (photos, voicemails, etc.) that she had a sexual encounter with Tiger Woods... We will pay you twenty dollars, in cash, for the opportunity to interview you via email about the sordid details of your affair with Mr. Woods and post the resulting interview here on our site.

That's right... twenty dollars for one brief interview, during which you will not be asked to perform any sexual acts, unlike Vivid Entertainment's salacious offer. Unless, of course, you just really want to perform sexual acts, in which case I'll gladly introduce you to one of my many friends who are less concerned than I about STDs. In addition, we will publish your picture and provide a link to your personal website or the website for the strip club at which you work.

If you have slept with Tiger Woods and are interested in our offer, please contact us here.

UPDATE: A fourth woman has come forward claiming to have slept with Tiger Woods. Her name is Jamie Jungers, and she's a nice-looking blonde from Las Vegas. If any of our readers know Miss Jungers, please inform her that she could be twenty dollars richer if she contacts us. Thank you.

Introducing Mary Beth

Dear readers, please allow me to introduce you to Mary Beth Sales, a young lass with a unique understanding of the intricacies of modern romance. We here at How to Meet Broads Inc. were introduced to her via the magic of the internet, and she was nice enough to agree to an interview. Without a doubt, there is much insight to be gained from her female perspective. Here goes...

Tell us a little about yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? What do you do for a living?

I'm Mary Beth. A true Midwesterner, I am a St. Louis girl at heart, so I love the Cardinals and hate the Cubs. Now I live in the crazy -- yet fabulous -- City of Angels. I'm a law school drop-out -- finally doing something in my life for myself. Since I love fashion, I'm a wardrobe stylist. And an on-camera host. A hustler. In other words, I get paid to shop and put clothes on people, and I get some extra cash by interviewing people on the red carpet. On the weekends (or, Mondays through Thursdays for LA locals, I should say), I play wingwoman for my guy friends.

What are the responsibilities of a good wingwoman?

In a nut shell, a good wingwoman will be her guy friend's teammate on a playing field, whether at a party, bar, club, sports event, wedding, etc. Teammates always work together. When the ball (aka the prospective female for the guy friend) enters the playing field, a good wingwoman will gradually build rapport with the prospective female. The wingwoman will make the prospective female smile, maybe compliment her, and ask what her plans are for the night, or for the weekend. Finally, a good wingwoman will pass the ball to her guy friend and bring the prospective female into communication with the him. It's up to him to score.

Where do you feel most men fail when attempting to talk to women?

Beginning with a really bad pick-up line. Or any pick-up line in general. Sometimes a simple, "Hi, my name is ______ " with a genuine smile just might work.

And don't ask whether I want you to buy me a drink. Just ask me what I'm drinking and duplicate it. If I take it, then lucky you. If I don't, gracefully take it for yourself to drink. Also, drinks should always be ordered and served in front of me. Or else I won't drink it at all. Can't trust a perfect stranger :)

What do you find attractive in a male?

A million dollar smile, confidence, swagger, ambition and a hustler mentality.

How do you define confidence, and how do you recognize that an individual has it?
I can't exactly define confidence, but I definitely know it when I see it.

A confident guy won't compete with me. He won't be so eager to list his entire academic CV after I tell him that I graduated college cum laude in three years and was accepted to an accelerated 2-year law program. He is proud and stands securely next to anyone. A confident guy has no problem making conversation with anyone. He is diplomatic. A truly confident man is humble. And wise.

When it comes to evaluating prospective mates, how important are the following to you: How much money a guy makes. What kind of car he drives. What he does for a living. His age. His height and weight.
Money is important. I don't want to have to worry about someone else's financial well-being -- I already have to worry about mine. What he does for a living is crucial. My prospective mate must be both happy and successful -- if you're making great money with your job, but don't really like it -- huge turn off.

Car -- not anymore. I've always wanted a man who will love me more than his car. Although, a nice car is a bonus. Just make sure it's equivalent to your standard of living -- don't drive a 996 Twin Turbo and live in an apartment that costs $1,300 a month. Like my ex did.

Age -- I once dated a guy 12 years older than myself. I'll never do it again. Well, at least in my mind, "older guys" think they know it all. Actually, age is a state of mind. I swore to myself I would never date someone under 28 (I'm 25) -- but I know 24-year-old guys who act maturely and have business minds like a 38-year-old. And a bomb smile? Total turn on.

Height -- has to be taller than I am when I'm wearing my highest heels. In other words -- at least 5'9". I love it when I look up and a guy kisses me on my forehead. And take care of your body. But eat well too. It shows that you're driven and have respect for yourself.

Do you find there to be a difference between dating in the Midwest and dating in Los Angeles?

I've thrown boys away like purple Jolly Ranchers here in LA. (I hate artificial grape flavors). I feel like there are so many guys to choose from, it doesn't phase me as much when I drop/lose them. I've talked to a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, a software guru who's been featured in Forbes, the perfect-GPA-NCAA-athlete-of-the-year guy... I can always find something wrong with them. Here in LA, you'd be a fool to think that you're the "only one" whom someone is dating -- that goes for both guys and girls.

In the Midwest, guys hold doors, they never fail to politely introduce you to others, smile... I couldn't treat them like grape candy.

If you could give one piece of advice to guys who have difficulty meeting women, what would it be?

Smile. And be yourself. We can see right through you.

[Ed. note: Read more about the misadventures of Mary Beth Sales at her blog, www.marusedtoloveher.com.]